Spark's Jokes Depot: Have Your Fill

[Sparks]

Lets start with some really silly ones:

Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?
He was asking for directions!

How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?
Tell him a joke
when he's a baby!

What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?
Chicken Spocks!

What is a myth?
A female moth!

This morning my dad gave me soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
I bet you were mad.
Mad? I was foaming at the mouth!

What sort of animal is a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
_________________
Darkfire

[Field Marshal]

A cowboy was buried neck deep in the ground in the middle of an indian camp.

The chief went up to him and said: "You cowboy, mighty warrior, we give you last request."

The Cowboy said: "I would like to say something to my horse"

They brought him his horse and he whispered in its ear and it ran off.

Later that day it returned with three prostitutes on its back, this made the indians happy so the chief went up to him and said: "To repay your generousity we will give you another last request."

The cowboy replied: "Can I have another word with my horse?"

They brought the horse and it bent its ear to him and he screamed at it and said: "Listen stupid I said bring the posse, P-O-S-S-E, posse!!"


_________________
Join the Imperial Army,
See the universe,
Meet interesting people,
And Kill them.

[Sparks]

Ultra dumb people 01 >>>

>A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

>In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

>In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all this may not have happened."

>Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

>A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-theLooms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said police spokesman Mike Carey, "with an explosion taking place inside his pants." Police have the man's charred trousers in custody.

>A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

>In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.


_________________
Darkfire